Date:	2006-08-16 22:42
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad

Date:	2006-08-07 12:53
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	working

Date:	2006-08-06 18:16
Subject:	Note to self: Optimism SUCKS
Security:	Public
Mood:	angry

Seems like every time I get my hopes up about something it falls through lately.

I just spent my day getting bitched out about how I'd not be a proper cat owner because I don't own a house, am engaged, and recently had surgery. I've been trying to get this cat for four days now. I've got one more thing to try, but then...

Date:	2006-08-04 23:16
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

Japanese people amuse me.

WARNING: No nudity, but could be considered... inappropriate. Not that bad, though.

Date:	2006-08-04 21:36
Subject:	EEEE!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy

My life has suddenly gone from suck to yay!

I may not have a  home at the moment (being with Frank is being home -- sappy but true), but at least good stuff is happening. Tomorrow I'm getting my cat (I probably shouldn't... but if I'm going to be irresponsible at least it's a tiny irresponsible thing as opposed to a big one like buying a car or something) which makes me happy and excited. His name is Luke, like I mentioned before, and he looks like a grey squirrel. I'm debating whether or not I wanna give him a different name, since Luke doesn't seem like a very good name for a cat. I think I've got one in mind, but we'll see...

On Tuesday it's looking like I'm gonna go on my first big outing after surgery. There's going to be a huge Pokemon 10th anniversary party in NYC (the mayor apparently announced that August 8th is official Pokemon Day in New York) and two friends of mine are bailing out of work so they can go. I begged to go with. Yay! I'm still trying to figure out which of the 20 pokemon I want from their giveaway list. I'm thinking I'll go with Entei, because I was never able to catch him.

I've also suddenly gotten into RP again. One character is more than likely a no-go, but the app was fun and I s'pose I can always play with her in my head or something. Another I've gotten worked out almost entirely at this point, I just need to finish writing the background and send it. The last one I have in my head but haven't actually started writing yet. I have some work to do this weekend!

But all in all, I'm in a very happy place. It's crazy how one minute things can seem so hopeless and the next they're wonderful. Not perfect, but at least for now I can keep going.

Date:	2006-08-04 09:55
Subject:	Luke-kitty
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy

*sigh*

Alright, so I know we can't afford it. Two cats? We don't even have our own apartment yet. How on earth can we afford two cats on our current budget?

And yet I fell in love with a cat. His name is Luke. He's grey and fuzzy and the smartest cat alive aside from Spazzy. I want him. I want him badly. His adoption fee isn't even that much! Of course, that's just the adoption fee and not what it would cost to get him food and a carrier and toys and all the other things that getting another cat entails. But I still want him. I've been looking at cats for awhile now, but up to now I've managed to not fall in love. Now I did. Oops.

It's sad the way animals make me feel so much better when I'm upset. Why can't something less complicated do the same... like pillows. Or books. Or... something.

Date:	2006-08-04 09:50
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	groggy

Date:	2006-08-03 18:58
Subject:	Naggly Part 2
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

Well, if nothing else... at least I feel accomplished?

I suck. I know I suck. I just spent three days draining myself for no good reason.

Now hopefully I'll have a good (stupid) reason to cry and get all this emotional baggage off my very sore shoulders.

I just have to say... I'm sorry. I really am. But it wouldn't go away until I tried.

Date:	2006-08-03 07:07
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	tired

Date:	2006-08-02 18:15
Subject:	Just because I have to.
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

Look! You can vote for the name of Hungary's new bridge! Apparently it's looking as though it's going to be called the Chuck Norris Bridge. There's some other rather amusing names on the list, however. Take a look. Have a vote.

Date:	2006-08-02 09:13
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	scared

Date:	2006-08-02 01:04
Subject:	Bless me!
Security:	Public
Mood:	grumpy

...You never appreciate what you have until you don't have it.

Dangit, I keep sneezing and my nose is runny but I can't blow it. Not for another month. Never in a thousand years would I have thought I'd get tired of sniffling and wiping my nose. This would've been a dream come true if I was five again.

I'm not five. I miss my tissues. Wah.

Date:	2006-08-01 07:46
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy

Date:	2006-08-01 00:58
Subject:	Naggly
Security:	Public
Mood:	sad

I've got this horrible naggly idea in my head. It's not going away. In fact, I'm obsessing over it at this point.

The problem is, I realize this naggly little idea is not going to work. I already know that I'm going to put my heart and soul into this silly hope and it's going to get denied before it even gets off the ground. Aside from the fact that I'm not good enough to begin with, there's probably a zillion other reasons why my idea is going to get smooshed the moment I even bring it up. This makes me cringe just thinking about it. And yet... I'm obsessed enough that I'm probably going to ask anyway.

I haven't told anyone about my idea yet. I think I will tomorrow, though. Or later today, rather. I might as well get it stomped before I get too far beyond my fiddling stage and start putting any more serious effort into it. Sigh. Part of me wants to just get the ouchie part overwith, the other part wants to hold onto my hope and give myself something to work at right now.

Stupid, stupid. I've been doing this for years now, I should give it a rest already. Yeesh.

Date:	2006-07-31 04:46
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	sleepy

Date:	2006-07-30 06:49
Subject:	And now for today's DID YOU KNOW?
Security:	Public
Mood:	relieved

DID YOU KNOW...

...that the ER aka Emergency Room is now called the ED aka Emergency Department?

Personally, I don't think it has the same ring to it. But maybe tha's just me.

So anyways, yesterday I was at the... ED (dang, that just doesn't sound the same!... for about 12 hours. I love those places. We got there at about 2:30pm and ended up leaving sometime around 3am. It was a long, long day. My mom figures it was worthwhile, however, since we learned a lot about this disease that I'm STILL bloody freaking cursed with, even though the tumor is out. Wonder of wonders, I had what's known as an adrenal crisis. What's that? Long story short: Tumor produces lots of hormone that body needs to make cortisol which handles stress, depression, manages blood pressure, metabolism, blood sugar, and immune system. Tumor goes bye-bye. Pituitary, which has long since gotten lazy, produces very little hormone which means very little cortisol. Fake cortisol is administered -- bare minimum I need to function until the pituitary gets its ass in gear and starts making the correct amounts. However, amount of fake cortisol is assuming nothing should happen. Stress/depression level rises. More cortisol is needed but is not to be had. Body crashes. Adrenal crisis. Bad things happen.

Fortunately, like most cases, I had a... I dunno, feeling that something was off. I've been having a headache, but today (er, yesterday) it just felt different. We talk to the resident neurosurgeon at the hospital and he advised us to come in. I didn't actually crash fully until I had gotten there and had sat around the waiting room for a few hours... but when it hit, it hit HARD. I had just about every symptom minus the blacking out and coma. And I honestly believe that was only because they caught it soon enough. But it was NOT a fun time, lemme tell ya.

I'm probably gonna put details and stuff in my little private Cushing's journal that I've started. It's basically lots of long drabble about the serious stuff that's going on lately, Cushing's, recovering from Cushing's, and eventually the wedding stuff for next year that we're seriously starting to plan now. All this and more can be found at fealubryne if anyone cares. Friends-only, though a bunch of people have already been added. If you've not been, and are in any way interested, just leave a comment and I'll add ya in.

That is all.

Date:	2006-07-30 06:46
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

Date:	2006-07-29 07:23
Subject:	Ooo...
Security:	Public
Mood:	amused

I took the "The Animal Spirit" quiz on gURL.com
		My animal spirit is... The Horse According to shamanistic wisdom, the horse is first and foremost a free spirit, despite being enslaved by humans for thousands of years. Horse people tend to hate being told what to do, but do what they need to do anyway, without complaint or anger. Read more... What is your animal spirit?

Huh. Interesting, especially since I was absolutely obsessed with horses from the time I could talk.

Date:	2006-07-29 07:06
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	hungry

Date:	2006-07-28 05:07
Subject:	Wizardmon log!
Security:	Public
Mood:	aggravated